Post by Armina Terrac on Apr 1, 2021 20:01:33 GMT
This year’s Beltine has felt very different than the previous ones. I have never been one for holidays, they only ever seemed to create trouble. In the borderlands, everyone was always on guard, even during the holidays. Father always said they were time meant to be spent with those you treasure, I wish I had taken his advice to heart. I wish I had spent more time with him before rushing off to face the trials of the tower. Even mother enjoyed family holidays, as much as we quarreled we never fought during holidays, likely for father’s sake. As much as we would quarrel, neither of us wanted to bring him any pain.
Even when I wasn’t thinking about him, I had my friends by me to keep me occupied. We didn’t always agree on how Beltine should be spent, but we all ended up having fun no matter what we did. Even when I was working on that blasted farm I had the company of the woman charged with watching over me. As strict as she was, she let me enjoy the holiday as best I could, maybe after she found out the circumstances behind me being there she felt sorry for me. Not that I would know, the woman hid her emotions better than some of the sisters in the Tower.
This year I don’t know how to feel, I am finally free of having to do penance on that farm and yet I feel more shackled by my choices than ever. I can’t help but kick myself for losing three years of searching for my boy. At the very least I have been allowed back to the Tower, while I can’t make inroads officially yet I can at least reach out to old friends from here. With luck one of them might have heard something… maybe Elisa. She was always great at hunting down gossip, and her husband being a member of the guard he must know something about those who have grown up on the streets in Caemlyn.
I suppose I should make an effort to go be social with my fellow Aes Sedai. I still do have a few friends here at the tower, and Lillie will definitely want to catch up now that she’s returned from her own search for that poor girl lost in Tear. At the very least maybe a few hours talking with my oldest friend will allow me some time to avoid thinking about this. Perhaps even help me think of how to help those girls who came to my lesson, they seemed so excited during the lesson but I know unless I can find a way to make those more useful the other sisters will find some excuse to cancel the lessons outright.
Even when I wasn’t thinking about him, I had my friends by me to keep me occupied. We didn’t always agree on how Beltine should be spent, but we all ended up having fun no matter what we did. Even when I was working on that blasted farm I had the company of the woman charged with watching over me. As strict as she was, she let me enjoy the holiday as best I could, maybe after she found out the circumstances behind me being there she felt sorry for me. Not that I would know, the woman hid her emotions better than some of the sisters in the Tower.
This year I don’t know how to feel, I am finally free of having to do penance on that farm and yet I feel more shackled by my choices than ever. I can’t help but kick myself for losing three years of searching for my boy. At the very least I have been allowed back to the Tower, while I can’t make inroads officially yet I can at least reach out to old friends from here. With luck one of them might have heard something… maybe Elisa. She was always great at hunting down gossip, and her husband being a member of the guard he must know something about those who have grown up on the streets in Caemlyn.
I suppose I should make an effort to go be social with my fellow Aes Sedai. I still do have a few friends here at the tower, and Lillie will definitely want to catch up now that she’s returned from her own search for that poor girl lost in Tear. At the very least maybe a few hours talking with my oldest friend will allow me some time to avoid thinking about this. Perhaps even help me think of how to help those girls who came to my lesson, they seemed so excited during the lesson but I know unless I can find a way to make those more useful the other sisters will find some excuse to cancel the lessons outright.
