Caution: Slippery When Wet

[Julian Damodred]

Julian gave Zialin one final pat before heading out of the Spirit Legion stables and into the bright sunshine. He leaned against the barn wall near a water spigot and waited for his students to arrive.

The stables were full of horses, but empty of people this afternoon and though the Tower was never really quiet, the day had a certain peaceful tranquility about it. 

For the most part, Julian preferred small classes of two to three soldiers per instructor. He worried about adapting things with the upcoming exchange program and hoped the Aes Sedai chaperones didn't get in his way too much.

The particular pair of pupils he had chosen for today was no accident. Julian had trained Cirus a few times, but had spent almost no time with Sorin yet. Julian only lead lessons once a week and most of his time and energy went into observing training sessions and evaluating the recruits. So while Sorin was fairly unfamiliar with him, he was fairly familiar with Sorin. 

He had chosen the stables as a meeting place because he had noted the time Sorin spent at the Soldiers' stable with his horse. He didn't want to distract the boy, who might be more interested in his animal than his training though, so he had instructed them to meet him outside his own Legion's stable instead. Julian often rode Zialin in the mornings and understood better than most the comfort a stable could bring.  

More so however, was Julian familiar with Cirus who had been a soldier for three years now. Cirus had been slow to develop his channeling due to his initial block, but his emotional maturity had progressed exceptionally well. He had been given the opportunity to represent the tower in the Westlands twice already, which was somewhat rare for a soldier, but he had yet to let them down. It was for this reason, Julian wanted him paired with Sorin.

The young Tai'Seanchan almost seemed afraid of his own shadow and to despise the power whenever he wielded it. It hurt Julian's heart that people still felt that way. He hoped spending time with Cirus who had overcome similar feelings, might help Sorin.

[Sorin Shirega]

Sorin walked slowly in the direction of the Spirit Legion's stables, where he'd been told to report for channeling instruction. He tried hard not to think about what was to come, but found it impossible not to worry about it. While there were plenty of aspects of his life here that Sorin didn't like, the channeling was what he dreaded most. The Tai'Seanchan man sighed as he kept moving, eyes fixed on the path just ahead of him. In his short time here, he'd found no proof that controlling the thing inside of him was possible, and seen far too many displays of the destruction the One Power could cause. He shivered, wishing he could run from it and knowing that he couldn't. It was always there, lurking within, marking him as a danger, a threat, an animal hardly even deserving of life.

Though he wasn't moving fast, as if that could keep the time for the lesson from arriving, Sorin did eventually get where he was going. He looked up quickly to make sure he was in the right place, and when he saw the Asha'man, dropped his head, eyes on the grass in front of him. The familiarity of the nearby stable was a comfort, the man Sorin didn't know was definitely not. He began to tremble as he backed away from the Asha'man, putting as much space between them as he could while remaining within sight, clearly there for his lesson as he'd been ordered. He pulled at the sleeves of his coat as he waited, never once taking his eyes off the ground.

[Julian Damodred]

As Sorin approached, Julian was prepared to greet him with a friendly face. Unfortunately, the young man seemed to have eyes only for the ground. Julian didn't think he had seen the boy look a single full brother in the eye, which had been another reason for Cirus' presence. This kid, what am I going to do with him? Being Cairhienin, Julian often struggled with showing his emotions, but he wasn't great at being Cairhienin either, so when he did show them they were usually what he really felt. With a twitch of his mouth and a sigh, he ran his hand through his hair and slid down the side of the barn until he was squatting. 

He looked at the ground in front of his own feet, trying to get an idea of what Sorin might be thinking by studying it with equal intensity. Julian's whole life had been spent studying, so it came very naturally to him and soothed his fears of inadequacy. He could think through this problem just like any other with what he had studied. Julian closed his eyes to think.

Sorin was obviously soothing his own fears by staring so intently at the ground, but it was more than that. Sorin was Tai'Seanchan afterall, and they had rules about looking at someone of a higher class than you. The problem was, having a student who refused to look at you, made them especially difficult to teach. Julian's eyes popped open and he had to hold back laughter as it occurred to him that Sorin was likely to see him as High Blood and Cirus as his mouthpiece slave during this lesson. This time his Cairhienin upbringing helped him muffle his amusement so that it was only visible as a twinkle in his eyes, which of course he knew Sorin would never see. That thought almost threw him over the edge and he had to bite his lip to control himself. 

Though it hadn't been his intent exactly, it also very much was. He had logically concluded that Sorin would learn better from someone more experienced but still on his own level, and that was his reason for choosing Cirus, but the dots hadn't fully connected for him until now. He felt a warm rush towards the frightened little soldier standing as far away as he possibly could for giving him a few extra moments in his own head to make that connection. Dena would find it funny as well, and hopefully have the added bonus of bringing Cirus down a peg in her eyes. If she pictured him as a slave, even in jest, then maybe she wouldn't be quite as flattered by his assumed affections. Julian pushed Dena out of his head rather roughly, not wanting to think about that whole thing right now. 

Julian turned on the spigot and let water flow over the ground. It formed tiny rivers which veered haphazardly connecting and then branching off again on their way down towards the boy. Cirus was now coming to join them and reached Sorin shortly before the tiny rivers did. Julian turned off the water and used the tiniest trickle of power to carry his voice to them. 

"Come here, and watch your step. I'd like you to tell me, what do you know about water? Not the power, but water itself?"

[Cirus]

Cirus threw his coat back on and did up the buttons as he made his way from the training yard to the Spirit Legion stables. He had wanted a few minutes to wake up before his first assignment, and the hand to hand drills brought comfort. Sword forms took too long to get into and with less than an hour he didn’t have the time to wake himself up with that. The drills were simpler, and he already knew a little about hand to hand combat from his time before the Tower.

Cirus moved at a much easier pace now that his blood was pumping. He didn’t run, that wouldn’t do, to be seen rushing around the streets of Caralain. He wouldn’t be late for his lesson, well, not technically. He might not be there first but he would be there before the bells rang out the hour. Cirus knew how to get around the tower like the back of his hand now, all the alleys and backstreets that could be used to cut through crowds were as familiar to him as the streets of Caemlyn had been, even the stables and kitchens of the full legions.

The Spirit legion stables, not exactly what Cirus would have expected as his training assignment for the day. He was certain that whoever had chosen it hadn’t made the mistake, but he had only ever used the training field for his daily training. It was certainly more comfortable than being around the horses, though none of the horses were threatening, the smell brought back memories of having to hide in them during cold nights. Still, he had been ordered to the stables and he would report there.

As he arrived he saw that he was the last to arrive. Well, nothing to be done for it when there were only three of them who were involved with the training. Cirus pulled up a respectful distance from the full Asha'man and stood about six feet from Sorin as well. It was hardly a poor impression, Master Damodred had entrusted him with a mission before, and Sorin he at least knew by name and face. The other man might not think of Cirus as much, but Cirus did believe him a kindred spirit. Told all his life how terrible people who could channel were, it was amazing that others were taught as he had been. He would help him if Sorin wanted, but he also knew the danger of pushing too far.

Master Damodred's question certainly threw Cirus for a loop. Water? What was there to know about it? It wasn't a question he had ever put much thought to, after all it seemed to have little to do with the mission of the Black Tower to dwell on what they knew about something as basic as water. It existed, they drank it and used it to bathe in because it was plentiful and washed away the sweat and smell of the day. What else was there to know about it? That it could be made to fall from the sky? That it could be used to extinguish fire? 

"Err... it causes things to be wet?"

Cirus had no idea what kind of answer the Asha'man was looking for. Let alone what this could have to do with becoming a full Asha'man. There had to be a reason though, Master Damodred wasn't one to waste time with meaningless lessons, even if he wasn't as harsh or direct as Captain Aravell, he was the T'sorovan M'Hael, and he had better things to do than waste time with 'training exercises' that were little more than hazing rituals.

[Sorin Shirega]

Water trickled through the grass, flowing towards Sorin, who watched it as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. It wasn't, but focusing on it helped to keep his mind off his fear of the lesson ahead of him. He studied the water nervously until he saw what appeared to be another Soldier walking towards him. Sorin shivered, but the other man stopped a tolerable distance away from him. A small mercy, but Sorin was grateful for it. He kept his eyes locked on the water until the Asha'man addressed them.

He did not want to get any closer to the Asha'man than he already was, but Sorin knew better than to think he had any choice about it. Lifting his head, he made himself take a few steps towards the stable, mud squishing beneath his feet. Having to look up to see where he was going gave Sorin a better look at the other Soldier, who he realized then was someone he actually knew. Though he showed no indication of it as he positioned himself by the very edge of the stable's wall and cast his gaze back to the ground, Sorin was pleased to see that it was Cirus who would be sharing this lesson with him. He remembered the other man's kindness to him when they'd met during chores, and if that couldn't entirely eliminate Sorin's fear of him, the memory at least lessened it a little.

Aware that he was going to have to channel saidin for this lesson, Sorin's hand was already hovering over his arm, inside his sleeve, before he realized that he wasn't actually being told to channel yet. The Tai'Seanchan man shook his head, trying and failing to understand the question they'd been asked. Isn't water just....there? It wasn't something he'd ever really thought about, and he didn't know what to say.

Contemplating water conjured memories of the ocean off the docks of Tanchico and the creek that ran behind his parents' home, which offered no answer and made Sorin so homesick he had to stop thinking about the question. When Cirus spoke, he sounded as confused as Sorin felt, which only made Sorin feel more lost. If the other Soldier was unsure about the question, Sorin definitely wouldn't be able to provide a satisfactory answer.

He swallowed, knowing he was expected to say something, even if it wasn't whatever response the Asha'man wanted. When he finally spoke, Sorin's voice was hardly more than a whisper. "Well....it's just water," he mumbled. " He took a step backwards, away from the Asha'man, without consciously deciding to move."We use it for drinking, and for washing, and..it comes from lakes and rivers and ocean and rain." All of that sounded incredibly stupid and obvious to Sorin's ears. He winced and reached towards the stable wall, laying a hand on it as if holding on to something would force him to stay put.

[Julian Damodred]

"Err... it causes things to be wet?"

"It does, but that isn't all it does is it?"

Julian grinned at Cirus. Had it been almost anyone else he might have thought they were being smart with that answer, but in this case, it was just the opposite. The poor boy genuinely seemed confused. He had hoped for a little more than that, but it was a funny response none the less.

Sorin's reply was a bit more interesting, though Julian could barely hear it. Physically, the boy seemed almost pained to answer, but answer he did...and he didn’t stop at just one. This said to Julian that some part of Sorin was open to learning, at least a sliver.

"Yes! We use it for those things, and yet you think of it as just water?"

Julian cocked his head and looked at them both.

"Water is life. Without fresh water to drink and wash with, people die. To an Aiel, a water-oath is the strongest oath they have. The Atha'an Miere practically live on the water. We take it for granted."

He wasn't scolding them; his pitch had risen with excitement and passion though and he stopped for a breath. He continued in a more somber tone.

"Water can take away life as well, of course. Water can cause floods and drowning. Water can be polluted and poisonous."

This was quite a bit more than he usually thought about water himself, but he was starting to find the rhythm of it and it just seemed to flow out of him.

"Water can both destroy and create at the same time, as it erodes away rocks and soil to form a canyon. Water can be a tool that you use to heat to make a poultice, or cool metal in a forge. Water can boil and burn, it can freeze, and yes it makes things wet. It can drench your clothes and slow you down or slicken the ground so that you lose your footing and slip and fall. It can cover your tracks, or blind you in dense white fog. It can also give you energy and cool you down. So tell me soldiers, with everything you know about water, is it good, or evil? Is it miraculous or dangerous? Or is it just water?”

[Sorin Shirega]

Sorin leaned against the stable wall, not understanding why the Asha'man continued to ask questions for which he had no answers. He didn't know what to say, didn't know the response the man was expecting, and he feared what the Asha'man would do if he couldn't come up with the right answer. Dread and anxiety twisted in his stomach, and Sorin shifted from foot to foot as he tried to think about it. None of what he'd just heard made any sense to him. Water wasn't good or bad, it just.....was. How one viewed it depended entirely on the situation. He could think of examples of both easily enough, but still didn't know if those were what the Asha'man wanted to hear. Still feeling unsure of himself, Sorin turned his head towards the stable wall, searching for the nerve to speak the only thoughts he had about something as simple as water.

An eternity seemed to pass before he could manage it, his words quiet and hesitant. "It's just water," Sorin mumbled. "It....just exists. If there's flooding, or maybe if someone can't swim....then it's dangerous." He paused for breath, not daring to look in the direction of the man he was supposedly addressing. "But....we need it, for drinking, and watering crops....it's not just one or the other." That was all he could think of to say, and he had no idea if it would satisfy the instructor. Shivering, Sorin rested his forehead against the wooden wall and shut his eyes, trying not to think of what the channeler might do to him if his response hadn't been what he wanted.

[Cirus]

“Water can both destroy and create at the same time, as it erodes away rocks and soil to form a canyon. Water can be a tool that you use to heat to make a poultice, or cool metal in a forge. Water can boil and burn, it can freeze, and yes it makes things wet. It can drench your clothes and slow you down or slicken the ground so that you lose your footing and slip and fall. It can cover your tracks, or blind you in dense white fog. It can also give you energy and cool you down. So tell me soldiers, with everything you know about water, is it good, or evil? Is it miraculous or dangerous? Or is it just water?”

As the T’sorovan M’hael spoke of what water could be, Cirus' mind was cast back to living on the streets. The nights of freezing rain where he would try to huddle as close as he could to a building to avoid it, and other days when he would stand with his mouth open trying to cool off as much as he could from the summer heat. He recalled taking what few rags he had and washing them in a puddle, only to later use that same water to try to cool himself off because he could find no others and someone had complained to the guards about him using the well.

Water had been a double edged sword during that time, and it had all depended on his needs. When he had needed it then it became a life giving force that he thanked the light for, when it had become a cursed entity that made sleep nearly impossible and comfort no more than a dream. It had been, as the T’sorovan M’hael had said; something to give energy to cool him down and a force that would freeze him. Yet he had never thought of what it was….

The answer for Cirus was obvious, but putting it into words was more difficult. The T’sorovan M’hael would not mock him for being unclear, but others had, and he didn’t want to appear a country lout in front of Sorin. The man had a good heart, even if he was terrified of himself and everyone else at the tower. The last thing Cirus wanted to appear to him was a simple brute, it would only give him more reason to be skeptical of everyone here.

”It’s not just one or the other”

Sorin was right, but if it wasn’t one or the other then what was it? A weapon? No… weapons killed. A force? Sort of but that didn’t feel right either. As he wracked his brain for an answer one finally came.


“It’s …. part of this world. Just like earth or fire or wind.”

He felt his confidence start to grow in his own answer as he spoke.

“How we use it is what determines what it is, it can be used to harm or help in equal measure, just as fire can be used to warm or burn, or earth to build or tear down.”

Cirus tried to keep himself from beaming too much at his own answer, though his pride in it was bound to show. How often had he simply been told he was wrong? or asked to explain and not be able to? This was an answer he could at least defend if challenged.

[Julian Damodred]

"It's just water," Sorin mumbled. "It....just exists. If there's flooding, or maybe if someone can't swim....then it's dangerous." He paused for breath, not daring to look in the direction of the man he was supposedly addressing. "But....we need it, for drinking, and watering crops....it's not just one or the other."

Julian nodded as he listened to Sorin's slurred and timid voice. The young Soldier was right, not unlike the way Cirus had been right about water being wet, but it was clear his thoughts were still a little stagnant. Julian knew realizations gained power when made on their own, but the poor boy’s thoughts couldn’t run free when blocked by a dam of fear.

Then Cirus chimed in, and Julian’s excitement rose with each word.

“It’s …. part of this world. Just like earth or fire or wind.”
“How we use it is what determines what it is, it can be used to harm or help in equal measure, just as fire can be used to warm or burn, or earth to build or tear down.”

Julian grinned at the young man, this was the best part about teaching, watching his students think, and reason things out. He loved the confidence Cirus had in his answer as well. He was coming into his own more and more each day.

“Precisely!” The Asha’man’s eyes glowed with pride at his pupil and his voice rose with enthusiasm.

“Water, earth, fire, wind, and even spirit are simply a part of our world. Channeling them is a lot like the way a watermill harnesses the power of a river to grind wheat into flour. Channeling is the tool that helps us get the most out of each element. It is up to you, and no one else, what you make with your toolkit. You can choose to grind grains, or bones. Don’t ever forget though, if your watermill is flooded, it can break. That’s why you are here, to learn how to utilize your tool and keep it in prime condition. It’s not the only thing you need to learn to become an Asha’man though. Do you know what Asha’man means in the Old Tongue? Asha'man means "guardian" or "defender". Not just any defender or guardian, though. You could not call a man who defended an unjust cause Asha’man, and never one that was evil. An Asha'man is a man who defends truth and justice and the right for everyone. He is a guardian who will not yield even when hope is gone.”

The passion never left his voice. Julian loved quoting Rand Al’Thor, and he really did believe the words to be true. He licked his lips before continuing.

“What do we guard against? We guard the world against the Shadow. We fight the darkness and are defenders of the light. In a way, that can mean we have to be weapons, but The Lord Dragon's last command to us was that we are men and not just weapons. You can’t defend humanity if you lose your own.”

“So tell me soldiers, in what ways do you hope to defend humanity?”

[Cirus]

“What do we guard against? We guard the world against the Shadow. We fight the darkness and are defenders of the light. In a way, that can mean we have to be weapons, but The Lord Dragon's last command to us was that we are men and not just weapons. You can’t defend humanity if you lose your own.”

We are men and not just weapons. How rare were those words here among the training? How little had he heard them? Ever since Cirus had arrived he had only thought about sharpening himself, improving his skills, becoming the weapon that could defend the innocent. How much of himself did he have wrapped up in the idea that he simply must be better, become one of the ancient weapons of the last age. How little did men here talk about it? Was it simply that they never thought to ask that question?

“So tell me soldiers, in what ways do you hope to defend humanity?”

In what ways do you hope to defend humanity?

The question hit home harder than Cirus had thought. He hadn’t considered it in his time at the tower, he had worked to become strong, to become better. His mind had always cast to Gareth or Rhian when he thought about the kind of person he wanted to be, men who were strong enough to get up and do good. He had never asked either of them why they fought so hard, or what it was that drove them both to be better, what did they hope to defend? How could he hope to defend humanity if he couldn’t think for himself?

His mind flashed back to Saldea, to the tension in the air he had felt during the raid. People had been organized as they fled toward the citadel, but there had been clear fear in the air as he had moved opposite the crowds toward the wall. Children had been wailing in fear, some had been calling for parents as strangers or another family member had rushed them toward the safety of the inner area of the city. He remembered the fear in their eyes, and the light of hope that he’d seen as he moved against the crowds. A few had pointed at him and whispered, but there had been relief in their eyes.

Then there were the men on the walls, the ones who looked to him as he moved. A few of the veterans had looked shocked at his being there, probably shocked a boy was moving through this hell. Most had looked relieved, especially when the fire had started flying. Some had told him later that they appreciated him being there, that having an Asha’man had helped them to steel their own resolve on the wall. His own resolve hadn’t been lacking, there hadn’t been time to be afraid that day. His initiative might have been though, the captain had berated him for not moving faster and farther.

“I would become a true Guardian…”

The answer seemed hollow, after all, what was a true guardian? How would that hold up against scrutiny? What did it mean?

“I mean… I mean..”

What did he mean?

“I wouldn’t just become a weapon, but a warrior for the light. To fight with whatever weapon I can muster, but to hold myself to an oath much like the Aiel swear. I would fight to the end of the earth and spit in the Dark One’s eye given the chance, but not at the expense of an innocent’s life.”

[Sorin Shirega]

When the Asha'man spoke again, Sorin forced himself to open his eyes and turn his head to look in the man's general direction, which for him meant staring at the grass around his feet. He let out a breath, relieved to not have been scolded or....worse. With his head down, trying to appear respectful despite how afraid he was, Sorin attempted to listen to what the man was saying. He understood the words, of course, knew their meanings, but the concepts made no sense to the Tai'Seanchan Soldier. But...the One Power isn't part of the world at all, he thought to himself, confused. Back home in Tanchico, one could live out a lifetime without ever having to deal with the One Power. Sorin still wished he were one of them, but it was already far too late for that.

He squinted at the ground, trying and completely failing to understand the talk of watermills, tools, and choice. He did not want to believe that he had chosen to do what he had, the first time he'd ever channeled. Sorin squeezed his eyes shut as the unwelcome memory came to his mind unbidden. He couldn't remember making a conscious decision to act as he had, throwing the thief against the wall, but if he had and simply forgotten....it was no wonder that he was little more than an animal.

Sorin shook his head, trying not to think about the worst day of his entire life, and was only distracted when the Asha'man spoke of grinding bones. The Tai'Seanchan man paled, turning his head away from the patch of grass he'd been staring at. The One Power can do that? Sorin knew that a channeler was capable of many terrible things, but he tried not to think too hard about what those were. He just didn't want to know.

Everything else the man said may as well have been in the Old Tongue for how little Sorin understood it. He knew what channelers were, the threat they represented and the danger they were to the world around them. The idea of channelers as people capable of protecting others wasn't one that Sorin could understand, and the question he asked when he stopped talking was one that he perhaps understood even less.

The Soldier blinked, green eyes open again and looking back at the grass he'd been studying earlier. Defend humanity? That wasn't something Sorin had ever thought to do. He wasn't Artur Hawkwing, wasn't even of the Blood...he was just a normal man, or had been, and still wanted nothing more than to return to the horses and family he loved.

Sorin didn't know what to say. What he did know was that the Asha'man could destroy him anytime felt like it, and that not answering wasn't a good choice if he wanted to last another day. Nervously, he tried to think about it and came up with nothing. He heard Cirus speak, but wasn't paying enough attention to really hear what the other Soldier said.

Once Cirus finished speaking, Sorin was sure the Asha'man was glaring at him. Of course, he couldn't actually see the man, but he felt certain of it. The Tai'Seanchan man started shaking before he opened his mouth, then closed it again. There was nothing he could say, nothing someone like him could do for humanity. He was a channeler, an animal, and if he'd ever had any desire to protect others...he should have given himself up to the death by slow torture that was all a man who could channel deserved.

He shook his head, disgusted with his own selfish desire to live despite knowing that the spark of saidin lurked inside of him. Shaking harder, Sorin reached out to steady himself with a hand against the wall. The words he finally spoke were as quiet as ever, but behind them was the conviction of someone who believed in what he said.

"I'm not......I don't.......I can't..." the Tai'Seanchan man started. He closed his eyes, then opened them again. "I..........people need to be kept safe from animals like me. If I cared about anyone else...........then.....I shouldn't have come here."

[Julian Damodred]

“I would become a true Guardian…”
“I mean… I mean..”
“I wouldn’t just become a weapon, but a warrior for the light. To fight with whatever weapon I can muster, but to hold myself to an oath much like the Aiel swear. I would fight to the end of the earth and spit in the Dark One’s eye given the chance, but not at the expense of an innocent’s life.”

Cirus stumbled at first, but he thought it through. Julian was impressed with his critical thinking, and his enthusiasm. He mentally noted to discus weighing the lives of the innocent with the soldier at some point. If it all went well, and as his strength in the power increased, the boy might potentially be raised in a year or two.

Sorin, on the other hand was visibly upset and still struggled to get his words out.

"I'm not......I don't.......I can't..." the Tai'Seanchan man started. He closed his eyes, then opened them again. "I..........people need to be kept safe from animals like me. If I cared about anyone else...........then.....I shouldn't have come here."

Julian blinked at that. It was not what he had expected at all. He scolded his features to return to an unreadable calm. Not that it mattered with the raw nerve of pain that stood before him. The young man still hadn’t looked at him, unless one counted looking at his shoes. Julian did not. Though they were stylish, well-made, and immaculate despite the mud.

“Not everyone is called to be Asha’man,”

Julian noted to himself that it could be of benefit to steer Sorin along a path that would expose him to other options.

“but coming here to learn how to control your power shows that you do care for others. You care enough to sacrifice your old life, to travel to an unfamiliar place, all to learn how to harness your abilities in order to give you the choice of what to do with them.”

That could be completely untrue of course. It was entirely possible the Tai'Seanchan came here as a spy for the shadow with his eyes set on power and glory. That was hard to imagine though.

He didn't understand this boy's feelings, but Dena might. She might be able to sniff out more than he could. She certainly knew what it was to feel like an animal. Perhaps she could be useful in this situation. Maybe the two could help each other.

His voice was authoritative, but he tried to insert a note of casualty. "Cirus, go fetch Dena, you will find her in my quarters."

Light, he hoped that was true. He could tell she was at least in the vicinity. Besides, he felt this discussion was going to have to be private. Sorin might be afraid to talk to him, but it wasn't fair to ask him a question like the one he needed to ask in front of another soldier. Once Cirus was out of earshot, Julian slid down to a crouch.

“You are not an animal, Sorin. I would like to know why you think you are. I realize that might sounds like a request, but it is not.”

He had really thrown out the idea of using Cirus as a makeshift mouthpiece to filter things through hadn’t he?

[Sorin Shirega]

Looking at the grass around the Asha'man's feet, Sorin struggled to comprehend what the man was saying. The assumptions he made about Sorin's reason for coming here were close to being correct, but at the same time, the man was so very far from truly understanding. The Tai'Seanchan man shook his head in denial. It was true that he had come in here in part because he cared for his family and friends. He had wanted to spare his parents from the pain of learning just what it was they'd raised, and to remove the danger that he was from everyone around him. The Asha'man's words acknowledging that made Sorin sound almost human, but Sorin knew better. He shut his eyes when the man stopped talking and leaned against the wall, filled with self-loathing. What the Asha'man did not understand, and probably could not, was that he had also fled here because he was an utter coward, unable to face the death that should have been his.

Sorin hated knowing that about himself, and he kept his eyes closed, trying to forget the presence of the other two men. He huddled against the stable wall, not opening them until he heard the Asha'man tell Cirus to go get someone named Dena. It sounded like a woman's name, which was strange since few women lived near the Black Tower. An icy weight settled in Sorin's stomach as he realized that if this person was female, she might very well be one of the marath'damane who were free in these lands. He hoped not, as he wasn't sure he could stand to be anywhere near one of them. Living in this place, surrounded by male channelers and knowing himself to be one, was hard enough. Sorin feared he'd lose what little composure he possessed if he were made to spend any amount of time around a woman who should be collared.

He shivered at the thought of it, and his eyes opened wide, suddenly needing reassurance that there was nobody else nearby except the other two men. The Asha'man was still there, but when he looked for Cirus, he saw the other Soldier walking away to follow the Asha'man's orders. Cirus scared him, but the Asha'man absolutely terrified him, and the last thing Sorin wanted was to be left alone with him. He cowered by the wall, as close to it as he could possibly get, and turned his head so he didn't have to look at the man.

Sorin stayed in that position even when the man asked him another of those unanswerable questions. Perhaps that wasn't exactly true, since he did know the answer to this one, but couldn't explain it. That channeling made him an animal was a simple fact to Sorin. The sky was blue, the grass was green....channelers were dangerous animals. These were all things he'd known since childhood. How these people could fail to see the threat of channeling when he'd witnessed them blowing up rocks and calling lightning from a clear sky was beyond Sorin's comprehension.

The noise Sorin made while he tried frantically to come up with an explanation was a quiet whimper. The Tai'Seanchan man winced, glad he still had his face pressed against the wall, hopefully out of sight of the Asha'man. I suppose I'm not just like any animal, he thought, trying to answer the question. Certainly nothing as noble as a horse, not useful like cows or sheep. He thought about it, considering which animals he knew were a threat to humans, and finally came up with one that at least had a chance of making sense to the Asha'man.

"It's because I'm dangerous, and can't control what I do." he said quietly, knowing that the Asha'man probably wouldn't see the truth of that statement anymore than Cirus had. "To let something like me live.........it is like setting a snake loose in a crowd of people who don't know it's there. It could bite...it could kill someone." Sorin's voice wavered, and he had to pause to breathe, the only movement he made. "That snake doesn't know what it's doing, and can't stop itself, but it's a threat to everyone near it. " In a whisper, he added, "And if someone in the crowd noticed it.......they'd kill it to keep other people safe." He couldn't manage to make himself state the obvious conclusion: he was just like that deadly snake, and should have been killed for the good of everyone else.

[Cirus]

Cirus tried to clench his mouth hard at what Sorrin said, he had gathered the other young man was terrified of him and couldn’t fathom why. To hear him speak like that though… it wasn’t insulting like he would have thought it to be. It was more terrifying, because he remembered all too well worrying that his fate would be death for what he was.

“Not everyone is called to be Asha’man, but coming here to learn how to control your power shows that you do care for others. You care enough to sacrifice your old life, to travel to an unfamiliar place, all to learn how to harness your abilities in order to give you the choice of what to do with them.”

Cirus started to feel mildly uncomfortable, he wasn’t certain why, but he got the sense that this was a conversation he shouldn’t be present for. He had felt called to this path, and so many of those at the tower felt the same, or if not called at least they didn’t think their fate should be death. He hadn’t heard such talk in nearly ten years and to hear it again…. It chilled him to his core.

"Cirus, go fetch Dena, you will find her in my quarters."]

Cirus didn’t hesitate and ran off to find Dena. He was grateful to be away from that situation, and at the same time a little ashamed. He had expressed his desire to help people, and here he couldn’t even be of help to his fellow soldier. Worse yet, he’d been afraid of being around him for what it made him think of. He could only hope that whatever the Tsorovan M’hael intended that it would work to help Sorrin, seeing one of his fellow soldiers so helpless was terrifying to him.

He arrived quickly at the Tsorovan M’hael’s quarters, out of breath from practically sprinting there he took a moment once he arrived to try to calm down. One deep breath, it didn’t help much. He knocked as loudly as he could without trying to be panicked, managing it just barely.

“Miss Dena! Are you in?”

[Julian Damodred]

He was whimpering like a child. This was a soldier of the Black Tower. He could no longer have the luxury of being a child. Being a child was overrated anyway. It was infinitely more satisfying to be the master of your own fate.

“I suppose that would be what most people do.”

Julian’s voice was thoughtful, and he cocked his head slightly to the right as he spoke.

“Though I know some that would say the snakes are more afraid of us than we are of them.” His lips quirked together in a sort of pursed smile before continuing.

“They bite out of fear. The people who say that are the people who would most likely, ever so gently, lift that snake out of the crowd with flows of Air, and put it somewhere safe for both the people and the snake. I suppose that could be a way to view the Black Tower."

He nodded to himself.

“A place that is safe for untrained channelers that keeps people safe from them as well.”

Julian wanted to make sure that the boy felt heard, since that was often the best way to get someone to listen to new opinions. He also hoped running, even for a short distance, with the same analogy Sorin had used, would increase his probability of understanding the message.

“Did you know that you can tame snakes? I’ve read that it can be done with music.”

Technically, he had read theories that it could have a hypnotic effect on the Aelfinn. Which were a snake-like race from a century old book that some called just a story embellishment. That didn’t mean it couldn’t be done with actual snakes as well though. It felt true anyway. Julian wondered if anyone had ever tried.

He believed the stories of course. He hadn’t asked his aunt about it and never intended to. He barely knew her. Besides, his upbringing had ingrained in him enough restraint to not pry. However, he had met Loial once while stationed in Tear. He had him sign his book, and the Ogier had encouraged questions. That had been one of the best days of his life.

“You are not a snake though. You are a man. A man with the ability to channel. You didn’t ask for it, you don’t want it, but you have it. It’s scary. You can’t control it. Well, look around son, you are in a school full of people trying to teach you how to control it. You can either embrace learning and protect the world like a bloody hero,"

His crisp Cairhienin accent was even more enunciated than usual to indicate that was the correct choice.

"or...you can keep on feeling too sorry for yourself to learn that control. No more pretending not to know any better like a snake. You know people can learn to control it. The proof of that surrounds you." He said, gesturing for emphasis.

"If you don’t put all you've got into trying to become one of them then that is a choice, which is something a snake doesn’t have.“

Light, I sound like some strange advocate for the rights of snake kind.

Then surprise blossomed in the back of his mind, along with excitement and curiosity. Spikes of nervousness too. Julian knew he had been right; Dena was in their quarters and hadn’t snuck out again. Instant relief spread across his upper back obliterating that tension.

“Now, stand up straight and face me like a man, soldier. You need to attack Saidin and wrestle it until you can confidently bend it to your will. That isn’t something you are going to do clinging to a stable shaking in your boots.”

He felt Dena's wild tangle of emotions approaching them, but the pair weren't in sight yet.