A ride in the countryside

[Dena n’am Damodred]

Tag: Sorin Shirega

Dena had been in a funk ever since the Feast of Lights. She had even boycotted Beltine in protest, not that this lot had bothered to put up a pole. Instead of struggling to keep her in their rooms, Julian was now finding it difficult to convince her to leave them.

He had forced her to remain fully clothed and had not allowed her to dance or kiss anyone for fear that she would cause some sort of riot among the men. The Feast of Lights was her favorite holiday - the only day where she felt that she could truly be herself instead of the stuffy Cairhienin everyone expected her to be. Was there no one else in this black hole of boring who could have done with a little release?

She had even tried convincing him that Jadin would have been all for loosening up and letting go, but that had just made him even more unreasonable. She quickly realized it wasn't wise to use the former M'Hael to try to manipulate the Asha'man.

So she pouted and daydreamed and pined for her days in the Tinker camps. She knew there was no use in running away though, Julian could find her wherever she went. He wasn't her protector so much as her jailer in her opinion. Those glimpses of humanity he had been starting to show had all disappeared as far as she could tell.

In her heart she knew this wasn't really true. She felt his pain and his loss and his overwhelming guilt. She felt the stress that consumed him daily and the fear of failure that overwhelmed his heart. It was just difficult to empathize with those feelings when he tried so hard to deny them and wouldn't admit to them and internalized them until he made her life feel as bleak as his.

Kissing Cirus would have been great fun and a perfect celebration for his raising. Now he was off on some mission and she was friendless and alone. Nudge after nudge finally worked though and so today she was off to see Sorin. She had read the stupid books and listened to the definitively not fun lessons Julian had given her on Tai'Seanchan culture and he deemed her ready and convinced her it would do her good as well.

He had even bribed her with letting her ride his very own horse, Zialin.

"I'm sorry, but are you suddenly brainless as well as heartless? Horses hate me. They think I am a wolf!"

"Zalin won't even flinch!"

"I can ride your horse?"

Suddenly she felt a constriction around her whole body like clothing that was slightly too tight.

"Ok he won't flinch now, and neither will Sorin's steed."

"So you are going to just order me around and manhandle me however you like?!"

Her indignation was palpable. She could sense his remorse through the bond, but that wasn't enough.

"Just because I can feel you feeling it, doesn't mean you don't have to say it!"

"I'm sorry. I'll ask next time, I really will. I think this is what both of you need though, it will be good, I promise."

"Now you have the gift of fortelling as well as the gift of being a woolhead?" A sudden thought then occurred to her. "Whatever you did to me...will he be able to sense it?"

"No, I inverted the weaves." A smile came into his eyes, but not his lips. "I'm not that much of a woolhead."

"Yes you are." She replied before flouncing off.

So here she was heading to where Sorin was supposed to be, at the time he was supposed to be just about to have a break. There was no way to make it look like a coincidence, so she would simply speak the truth. When she spotted him she ran to his side and greeted him with a smile.

"Hi Sorin, I'm Dena, not sure if you remember me. Julian wants you to take me on a riding lesson and he of course knew exactly where you were and what you are doing because he's creepy like that...plus it's his job. He said I could ride Zialin and you could pick one of the others, as long as it wasn't someone else's personal steed. I assume the groomsmen will know which horse belongs to whom and help us out there?"

She said it all seemingly in one breath, but her Cairhienin clipped tone kept the words from muddling together enough that hopefully he understood it all.

[Sorin Shirega]

Sorin flinched when the woman suddenly appeared next to him and started talking as he walked towards the stable where Soldiers' horses were kept. With no friends and few acquaintances, it was rare that anyone spoke to him outside of his lessons and chores. The surprise of it made Sorin nervous, and he moved a few steps to the side, putting more space between them. She seemed vaguely familiar, and his green eyes flickered briefly in her direction. As always, Sorin didn't look directly at her, but the very short glimpse he took allowed him to identify her as the woman who had, for some reason, been brought to observe a recent lesson of his. Her name escaped him, however, until she provided it for him.

Dena, that's right, Sorin thought to himself as he attempted to both continue moving forward and inch further away from her. I can't let her get too close to me, she'd be helpless if....something happened. He still didn't trust that saidin wouldn't lash out at anyone near him regardless of whether or not he wished it. With his eyes still looking ahead of him, Sorin pulled his arms in closer to his sides. For once, they hardly hurt at all, and Sorin hoped the lack of pain would keep Dena safe from what he was.

While he worried, her quickly spoken words rushed past him, though Sorin managed to hear most of them. Understanding them was another matter. It took him a few minutes to connect the name "Julian" with the Asha'man who'd taught that lesson when Dena had been present. Why in the Light does he want me to teach her to ride? He could do that, Sorin knew, but the thought of having to be alone with her, unable to trust himself, scared him. The Soldier took a deep breath, battling with the instincts that urged him to run. If the Asha'man expected him to teach her....there was nothing he could do except obey.

He didn't feel capable of speaking, so Sorin nodded to indicate he'd heard her and kept going until he arrived at his destination. He stopped near the door, filled with fear and dread instead of the eager anticipation he usually felt when he had time to ride. With his eyes on the grass, Sorin explained quietly, "I need to get my horse. You don't have to come if you don't want to, the horse you're supposed to ride should be in the Spirit Legion's stables."

[Dena n’am Damodred]

He was about as skittish as a horse around her, but Dena didn't take it personally she knew, or sort of knew, he was that way with everyone.

She shrugged when he told her she didn't have to go with him.

"I don't actually know where the Spirit Legion's stables are." She admitted. "They all kind of look the same to me. So I guess I'll come with you and then you can take me there once you get your horse?"

Of course he had his own horse...well, maybe he wouldn't realize she had completely been speaking for Julian when she said he said Sorin could take any horse he wanted. She should probably try to watch her tongue more in the future though.

As they made their way to the stall where his horse was he continued to barely look her way and she continued to prattle on filling the silence with her chatter.

"You must be a very good rider if Julian recommended you. He's pretty serious about such things. His two great loves seem to be books and horses as far as I can tell. I have ridden before...sort of. I mean, I rode a horse here, kind of, but he...well he sort of ran off and I couldn't find him. I wonder if he went back home, or if some lucky farmer found him. That's a secret though, I haven't told anyone else about him. I let them think I walked here. It was honestly pretty embarrassing."

She laughed nervously and shook her head, her bells tinkling along with her laugh.

"Is this the horse you rode here? Or did you travel? I haven't been through a gateway before, but I am interested in trying it. My mother used the Kin's gateway services a lot before I was born. She was a merchant. I think that would be a fun occupation, I'd love a job that took me all over the world. What about you? I mean, your job will probably take you all over the world now, but what did you want to be before you came here to become and Asha'man?"

[Sorin Shirega]

At first, Sorin didn't say a word as they walked to Midnight's stall. Even if he'd wanted to, and he didn't, Dena talked so much that there was no way he could have said anything. It was probably the most anyone had spoken to him in months. It was a little overwhelming, but Sorin didn't really mind letting her go on. He'd always been more of a listener than a talker, and allowing Dena to ramble helped to alleviate some of the constant loneliness Sorin knew he had no right to feel. He stayed a few steps ahead of her, eyes on the ground, appearing far less nervous than he felt until she started asking him questions and talking about gateways.

The Tai'Seanchan man shuddered at the idea of stepping through one of those, and shook his head without actually looking at Dena. "No, I rode my horse here," he muttered quietly. It was all he would say on that subject, as he had no desire to remember how it had felt to ride away from the only life he'd ever known. He glanced uneasily at the walls, away from her, as they moved on, and hoped Dena didn't notice.

Refusing to look at her, Sorin had no way of knowing whether she could tell how uncomfortable he was. It appeared to him that she could not, since she continued to ask questions, stirring up painful memories of the life he'd used to have. He couldn't bring himself to be so rude as to ignore her, but Sorin didn't answer right away. When he thought he could manage a response, he swallowed and said, "I used to work on a horse farm, raising horses for sale." Tears stung his eyes as he was forced to recall the last place he'd been truly happy, and he blinked several times, grateful that Dena probably couldn't see his struggle to force down the unwelcome emotion.

He was always happy to reach Midnight's stall, but Sorin didn't think he'd ever been so relieved as he was when they finally approached it. Opening the door, he went in and just stood there for a moment, gazing up at the stallion. Midnight was as black as his name suggested, and when the large, dark eyes focused on Sorin, the Soldier began to relax. He patted the animal on the side, preparing himself for what had to come next. Saddling the horse, a simple task back home, was a frustrating chore in this place that insisted he use the One Power for every little thing. Midnight waited patiently while Sorin looked nervously around the stall, unsure if Dena was near enough to be watching him.

Turning his body towards the wall and, he hoped, moving his arms out of sight, Sorin reached up his sleeve and jabbed his nails into his arm. He reached for the One Power, slowly hauling first the saddle and then the bridle towards the horse on threads of Air. That effort took him some time, but once the items were in his hands, he quickly had Midnight ready to go. Taking hold of the reins, Sorin led the horse to the stall door, hoping Dena didn't have any more upsetting questions to ask on their way to the Spirit Legion's stable.

[Dena n’am Damodred]

The stables, being cleaned with the one power, were not as strong smelling here as they would be elsewhere, but the overwhelming smell of horse did make it harder to pick up on much else at first. His physical shudder at her mention of gateways did not appear to be from excitement, nor had she expected it to be. Julian had warned her of what the young man's people thought about channeling, especially male channeling, so she had assumed his emotions might still be negative about such things. It did help her in establishing a baseline though. She still struggled at interpreting the smells, so asking a question that she knew would be likely to provoke certain feelings would help her know in the future what that smell meant for him if she caught a whiff of it again. Luckily, his emotions were strong enough that she was able to distinguish it from the horse filling her nostrils.

She felt cruel for bringing up something negative purposefully, and switched track to invoke some more pleasant memories. Dena had little use for regret to any large degree in her own repertoire and hadn't considered it until the sadness came off of him in waves. She mentally kicked herself for twisting the knife with that one. Julian smelled of painful remembrance daily lately so that was fairly easy to pick up.

Her nose prickled right before the saddle floated up towards the steed and her brow furrowed in confusion. A sharp metallic scent came on suddenly nearly making her eyes water and she thought she could almost taste copper on her tongue. That was a smell she was familiar with as well. Almost all the men training and teaching here bled at one point or another. Then, just as quickly as it came, it faded away, covered once again by the smell of horse. Had Sorin pricked himself on something? She examined him closely and noticed his hand leaving his sleeve. Had he been scratching a scab perhaps?

She stood there, quiet for a moment as he finished up, trying to figure out if it was important or not. It was at the very least, something to keep a nose out for in the future.

"Well, it sounds like Julian definitely chose the right teacher for me then. I guess you learned to ride as you learned to walk. Have you ever ridden a razor before? I've heard about them of course, but never even seen one. People say they are quite the sight."

She gushed as she followed him out of the stable, letting him lead the way since she had been embarrassingly honest about still not knowing which stable was where.

"What's his name, by the way?" She inquired, sticking her thumb out towards the animal walking along side them. "He's a pretty impressive sight in his own right."

[Sorin Shirega]

Sorin kept his eyes on his horse as they left the stable, shaking his head at Dena's question. "No, I've never seen one either," he told her. "They're not very common." And an animal like me would never be allowed anywhere near one, he thought to himself. When they left the stable, Midnight lifted his head and began walking faster, clearly pleased to be free from his stall. Sorin tugged gently on the reins in his hand and moved closer to the horse's said, placing them both just slightly ahead of Dena. Having done chores in all the stables by now, he knew exactly where they needed to go.

When Dena spoke to him again, Sorin turned his head in her direction without looking directly at her. "His name is Midnight," he said, looking back towards the horse as he answered. Hearing her call the stallion impressive made the Soldier feel a brief flash of remembered pride that faded almost as soon as he noticed it. He had no right to feel proud of anything now, not even something as simple as the purchase of a fine horse. Disappointed in himself for forgetting that, Sorin dropped his head and fixed his eyes on the ground as they continued on their way.

He was quiet for the rest of the short walk until he noticed they were approaching their destination. His need to learn what Dena already knew of horses and riding was the only reason Sorin could bring himself to say anything to her. He already suspected she had very little knowledge, but he needed to be sure before she got on the horse she would be riding. Sorin's head stayed down, his words running together even more than they usually did with his nervousness.

"Have you ever been on a horse before, besides the one you rode coming here?" he asked her. Her response would determine what he needed to show her before either of them rode anywhere. Stopping just outside the stable door, Sorin tied Midnight to a post to wait while they went inside. He stood beside the horse, patting the animal's neck, looking at the grass under his feet while he waited for Dena to tell him what he needed to know.

[Dena n’am Damodred]

She didn't want to think of the Soldier as 'stinking of sadness', but she couldn't quite help herself. The smell never seemed to leave him. It almost lifted, for a moment when she complimented Midnight, but it returned so quickly she partly wondered if she had imagined its brief absence.

"That's a lovely name." She said softly, in her most comforting voice.

Dena wanted desperately to make the young man laugh, but couldn't think of how this might be accomplished. Her usual awkward attempts at humor had shown no positive affects so far. He didn't respond to her less than subtle mockings of Julian either, but not many in the Tower seemed as keen to make fun of their commanding officer as she was. It didn't help that it was hard to think witty thoughts surrounded by his cloud of melancholy. Was he a fan of physical comedy? She doubted this, but perhaps she was biased by not wanting to make that much of a fool of herself. Her ponderings had kept her mostly quiet during their walk and was surprised when he spoke to her without prompting.

His question made her strangely uncomfortable and she twisted her skirts in her hands, swaying from side to side like a child as she wondered how best to answer him.

"Yeeeees?"

She managed, though the way she drew out the word and her pitch rising at the end made the statement sound more like a question.

"Kind of" she amended.

Finally she signed and shook her head.

"My family has a stable and I was allowed to ride a tiny bit as a child, but it's not really something I sought out or did by myself for fun. I'm more of a carriage passenger than a rider. Oh light, you probably think I am a goose-brained simpleton."

She felt the heat rise in her cheeks and she looked down, digging in the dirt with the toe of her shoe.

"I don't really fit in here very well, do I?"

[Sorin Shirega]

Sorin let the hand that had been patting Midnight fall back to his side while he listened to Dena talk. To his ears, she didn't sound very sure of her own answer, so he waited patiently, studying the area around her while she stumbled over her words. He'd thought it a simple question, but the hesitancy in Dena's speech made Sorin regret ever asking. The tips of his ears turned red, and he bent his head lower, keeping his eyes off Dena and focusing instead on his own two feet. He stayed that way, feeling terribly guilty and worried that he'd embarrassed her, until Dena started to fret about what he probably thought of her. At that, surprise caused Sorin to raise his head and take his eyes off the ground, catching himself just in time to make sure he was looking towards her, but not directly at her.

Why does she care what something like me thinks of her?

"I don't think that at all," he said gently, wanting to reassure her. "Not everyone learns how to ride young." He'd meant to be encouraging to Dena, but what Sorin said made him think of Stelan, who even now could barely stay in the saddle. The pain of missing his brother, his family, hurt just as much now as it had on the day he'd left them behind. Sorin closed his eyes, trying to think of something else...anything other than the thought of how alone he was in this place.

Without really noticing what he was doing, the hand nearest Midnight's reins reached out to clutch them tightly. He opened his eyes again, his gaze wandering away from Dena as Sorin tried to decide what to say next. "So.....," he said nervously. "I guess........," He couldn't think of what to say, how to begin teaching her without making her feel stupid for what she did not know. The Soldier winced, hanging his head and studying his shoes, trying to remember the last time he'd taught someone to ride. Then, he'd been competent....capable....and human, unaware of the dangerous animal he truly was.

The reminder of his place made Sorin take a few steps back from Dena before he tried to speak again. His eyes were still on his shoes when he managed to talk to her in a near whisper. "Do you think.....do you want to go get your horse now? I can show you how to get him ready to ride.....if you don't already know that." He still wasn't entirely sure what she did and didn't know, and wasn't about to dare ask her any further questions. At the moment, Sorin just wanted to get through the lesson without offending her...or worse, somehow hurting her.

[Dena n’am Damodred]

"I don't think that at all, not everyone learns how to ride young."

His gentle encouragement brightened her a bit and she looked up. He seemed slightly more sure of himself when he was reassuring her and she liked that. She decided that allowing him to comfort her was probably her best bet for getting closer to him. He quickly collapsed back into smelling of despair though and she saw him grab Midnight's reigns to comfort himself. Julian really did make the right call suggesting they get to know each other on horseback. She waited for him to speak again, though the silence pained her.

"So.....I guess........"

He kept trailing off and it was all she could do to keep from bursting at waiting for him to finish a sentence. When he finally did though, she understood his hesitancy. She hadn't really given him the information he had been asking for.

"Do you think.....do you want to go get your horse now? I can show you how to get him ready to ride.....if you don't already know that."

"I truly know nothing," She clarified. "I will definitely need your help. If anything happens to Julian's horse..."

Her eyes widened and she swallowed. She hadn't considered that possibility before. If she did something wrong and injured Zalin she wasn't sure if Julian would forgive her...though...come to think of it, horses could probably be healed with the One Power as well as humans. Probably. She decided it was better to be safe than sorry in any account.

Still not looking at her, the soldier tied up his stallion and lead her into the stable to get Zalin ready for riding. Though it was as though he had to pull every word from his own lips, this time he explained to her what he was doing and why it was important to do.

"Starting at the withers, right below the base of the mane, you need to make sure your horse's hair lies flat."

His hand was up his sleeve again and she smelled the copper scent of blood, but she was listening too intently to pay it much heed. She couldn't see the weaves of air gently stroking the hair on the horse's back so she stepped forward, assuming he wanted her to do it. She raised her hand and he quietly cautioned her,

"This is a very sensitive area so it's important to be gentle."

She nodded and stroked the hair as gently as she could, while making sure it all laid flat against his back. The saddle pad floated above her and he instructed her to examine it to make sure there was nothing attached to it that could irritate Zalin. It looked clean to her so she nodded again and he set it on the stallion's back.

"The pad should make a little tent over the withers."

He explained as he then gently lowered the saddle onto the horse's back, followed by the stirrups. She wouldn't call him relaxed, but focusing on the horse seemed to make it easier for him to speak. She thought he was getting somewhat lost in his own words and possibly pretending she wasn't even there, but he was speaking and that was all that mattered to her.

"You want to start with the pommel well up on the withers then ease the saddle back. Finding the exact place for the saddle to rest can take a few moments, but it's important. Too far back, and the saddle puts weight on his loins. This area of his back has no support from the ribs and is not designed to carry the weight. Most horses have a natural dip in their backs right behind the withers, and this is where the saddle should settle. Putting the saddle in this position will put your center of balance right over horse's, which is where it should be."

Dena nodded to show she was listening, but the detailed instructions made her nervous. She hadn't realized how important getting the placement just right was. She was glad he was doing it for her. Something else floated by her and she focused her attention on that.

"Bits are intended to fit into the gap between your horse's front teeth and his back teeth. This area is called the bars of the horse's mouth. You find the bars by cradling your horse's chin in your hand and putting your thumb and middle finger in at the very corners of his mouth. Most horses automatically open their mouths to take the bit as soon as you press on this area."

He must have done so with flows of air again because the horse's mouth opened and he he quickly eased the bit into the gap before continuing.

"When you finish adjusting the bridle there should be one wrinkle and one wrinkle only at each corner of your horse's mouth. A bit that's big enough to slide around will bother him as much as one that's too short."

By now Sorin was sweating quite a lot and she didn't think it was from the heat. All this channeling must be giving him quite the work out. She determined to try not to ask him for any more help.

"I didn't realize you had to be so delicate with these huge creatures she murmured in amazement. Thank you so much."

She looked uncertainly up at the horse, unsure how to mount it, then she spotted a big box in the corner and scooted it over to Zalin. Hoping he was watching her to make sure she didn't fall, but unsure since he still wouldn't really look at her, Dena swung a leg over the horse and slid her feet into the stirrups. She looked down at her gray dress and was glad she had been wearing one already divided for riding. It was actually the one she had come to the Tower in.

[Sorin Shirega]

Sorin had meant to get the mounting block for Dena, but the channeling necessary for him to saddle two horses instead of just one had left the Soldier a little tired, with fresh scratches burning on his arms. In the very short time it took him to rest a little and blink the sweat from his eyes, Dena had found the block herself. Sorin wished she'd waited but didn't feel comfortable asking her to stop now. Of course, she wouldn't want my help, he realized. She probably doesn't want me anywhere near her. That was going to be problematic within the confines of the stall, but Sorin managed to back away as far as he could. Holding his breath, he watched her nervously until she managed to get into the saddle.

He let his breath out then, relieved that she hadn't fallen or kicked the horse in the side. Silently, Sorin studied how Dena was sitting, doing his best not to be distracted by the horse she sat on. The Asha'man's horse was far more impressive than Midnight, and the Soldier probably could have stood there staring entranced by the animal if he had not had a student to teach. That student didn't appear to be too off balance, but to Sorin's eyes, there were a few adjustments she needed to make in order to ride more comfortably.

"You made it into the saddle," he commented, doing his best to sound encouraging. "When we start riding, though, you'll want to be sitting up straight. Your shoulders should be in line with your hips and your heels. You might feel a little off balance at first, but it will be easier once your horse starts moving. Keep your legs turned in towards the horse, but be gentle with him, you don't have to hold on tight. Looking down at her foot, he added, "You also want to make sure to keep your toes up and your heels down, so your feet don't slide out of the stirrups once you're riding." With a task he knew well, Sorin spoke less hesitantly than he often did, though his voice remained quiet.

"I know it sounds like a lot to remember, but if you keep riding, eventually you won't have to think about any of it."

Sorin wasn't at all sure that Dena would believe what he said, and his normal uncertainty began to creep back into his speech. "Do you think...would you mind if I led you outside, and I can show you how I sit on Midnight? That might be easier for you." It would also have the added benefit of allowing him to stop talking. Even back home, Sorin almost never talked this much. He only did now because he feared that if he left something out and caused Dena to fall or injure the horse, he'd face death at the hands of an angry Asha'man.

[Dena n’am Damodred]

Dena grinned wide enough to show all her teeth when Sorin sounded happy about her getting into the saddle on her own. She was proud of that. It was the one thing she kind of knew how to do. She hadn’t really done it herself when she left Cairhien, she had had some help, but she had done it, unlike all the saddle preparations and adjustments. When she stopped for the night, she had sorely wished for the block as she dismounted. In fact, she had kicked her horse then, and was carried a short distance further clinging to the saddle she only half occupied when it reacted by attempting to run away from her before she was fully off its back. It had been not at all a surprise and very much a relief when it had completed its escape as she slept. She had had some vague notions about using a fallen tree to hoist herself back up onto its backside in the morning and hadn’t been looking forward to it at all.

As he corrected her posture, she tried to make the adjustments, but there were so many to remember! It really helped put into place why she had felt so sore after only a day’s ride last time. Her natural instincts had her doing almost everything the opposite way she was supposed to.

When he offered to lead her horse out and use himself as a visual aid she nodded readily. Julian’s horse seemed solid and unflinching, but she was being as ginger with him as possible remembering what had happened last time.

She blinked when they came back out into the sunlight and then sneezed. Zialin still didn’t bat an eye, but she was grateful to the soldier holding the reigns. She tensed slightly when he returned them to her to mount his own steed. He managed to do it without a mounting block and she envied his grace.

Somehow, even with his back stiff he managed to look completely relaxed on top of Midnight. She wondered if she would ever manage to look that in control. Though, she knew even if she could, she wouldn’t. Teaching her was the only thing getting him to open up, and she couldn’t spoil that by learning too quickly.

He went over the adjustments she needed to make again and she did her best to contort her body into something that resembled his stance. Zialin finally began to show his patience wasn’t infinite as he snorted and tossed his head, clearly ready to get moving.

“I’d say lead the way, but that would probably make it hard for you to see what I am doing wrong, which I am sure will be much. I’d like to stay close though, if the horses will allow it so you can talk me through things.”

He instructed her on how to gently nudge her steed forward with her knees and they began walking towards the gate, their steeds side by side. Julian’s horse kept trying to pull ahead, though. He obviously thought of himself as the leader.

“He certainly is an eager one isn’t he?” She giggled nervously.

[Sorin Shirega]

Sorin did not want to stay close to Dena. That she requested it surprised the Tai'Seanchan man enough that he turned towards her in surprise before abruptly looking ahead of himself again. He nodded without looking at her, walking Midnight over to stand still near her horse. "Squeeze gently with your legs to get him walking," he told her. Demonstrating with Midnight, Sorin nudged the horse to a slow walk, knowing he had to stay at a reasonable speed for Dena. Once she had the horse moving along beside his, Sorin allowed Midnight to walk a little faster as they approached the gates.

Passing through the Black Tower's gates always brought Sorin a sense of relief. As long as he was out on horseback, there would be no One Power, no lessons, no channelers to startle him when he least expected it. That knowledge, combined with the comforting familiarity of riding, allowed Sorin to relax more than he ever found possible within the Tower's walls. While he felt calmer, he still sat up straight in the saddle, darting occasional glances at Dena to make sure she wasn't having any trouble. Her horse seemed to want to speed up, and when she commented on it, the Soldier explained, "If you want to slow him down, sit back farther in the saddle. That pressure will tell him to go slower. If you lean forward instead, he will feel the saddle get lighter and think you want him to go faster."

Without further comment, he led them to the start of a short trail he knew that ran outside the town of Caralain. It was more than wide enough for two, and Sorin kept Midnight as far to one side as he could get. She would be able to see him, and he would be able to watch her, but Sorin didn't want to be any closer to her than he had to be. His arms had stopped hurting, and he wouldn't need to channel while they were riding, but neither of those facts could make him trust his own control of it.

It was harder to appreciate the ride with that awareness lurking in the back of his mind, but Sorin managed it. The path he had chosen was entirely flat, passing through tall grasses and wildflowers. He studied them as he rode by and listened to the bird calls in the blue sky above them. He continued to check on Dena, but said nothing to her except to gently correct her riding when necessary. Much more used to riding alone, Sorin needed that time to himself when he didn't have to think of what he'd become. He couldn't forget Dena was there, did not neglect to keep an eye on her, but Sorin couldn't help but try to pretend that he was out here alone as he preferred to be.

[Dena n’am Damodred]

It was difficult not to lean forward. She wanted her whole body to be as close the horse as possible in case she needed to cling to it to stay on. No matter how many times she tried to correct herself, her body would inevitably begin to slope towards the steed's head. Sometimes she didn't even notice she was doing it and Sorin had to remind her. He had to keep prompting her to adjust her heels as well. She had always been more twinkle toed than heavy heeled. Her Domani inherited natural grace gave a definitive litheness to her petite frame. Everything she had learned about dancing and running kept her on her toes, even the shuffling Tiganza of the Tuatha'an didn't require such an unnatural positioning of her feet.

"Back straight, heels down." Dena muttered repeatedly through gritted teeth.

She spared the occasional glance to her side, but only to peek at her riding partner. She had no room in her attention for the scenery. Usually she would have enjoyed seeing the spring flowers. The world always smelled so fresh and new this time of year, but with her new sense of smell it was almost overpowering to the point of distraction. She found an odd desire creep in to purposefully lean forward and urge the animal to move faster so that she could fee the wind in her hair. The feeling worried her. Which animal did she want to move faster? The one she rode, or the one inside her?

"Do you ever want to just keep riding? To never stop and to never think...and to just ride and ride only taking breaks for rest and food and just keep riding so that your problems can never catch up to you?"

Realizing how intensely odd that question might sound her back suddenly became the straightest it had been since they began.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to try to run off."

Dena laughed weakly, unable to look at him, and kept her eyes glued to the trail in front of her.

"I just wish my life were more simple sometimes, like it used to be."

[Sorin Shirega]

Sorin's eyes flickered between the path ahead and Dena beside him as they continued on. The walk he kept Midnight at for his student's sake was much more sedate than the fast pace Sorin usually set, but he was content with any riding, no matter how slow. He inhaled deeply as they passed a group of purple and white flowers, letting all thoughts of the Tower he had to return to fade from his mind. It was almost peaceful, even with Dena to look after, until she asked a question that shattered Sorin's calm.

His hands tightened on the reins, stopping just short of pulling on them, and he turned his head sharply towards her in astonishment. How could she possibly know how much I wish I could just ride away from this place, from the Power? There was no way she could know, but the question still made Sorin feel as if she'd seen straight through him to the longing for escape that had been with him every day since his arrival, a desire he fought hard to hide. It was a terribly uncomfortable feeling, and he didn't know how to handle it. Blinking, he turned away from her quickly and settled his focus back on the path before them without saying anything.

He couldn't seem to relax again after that, no matter how hard he tried to pay attention to the plants and animals around them. It was an activity he usually enjoyed on his rides, helping him to forget the fear and frustration that seemed to be all his life now consisted of, but Dena's question had startled him so badly that his mind just wouldn't let it go. Why would she ask that? It became difficult for Sorin to make himself keep checking on her, which he did in the briefest glances he could manage.

Tense and nervous, he sat in his saddle more stiffly than was really necessary, hoping Dena would either stay quiet or else at least keep to the safe topic of riding. What she said instead was a comment he could identify with all too easily. He wanted so badly to return to the life he'd had, and it didn't help at all to hear Dena express similar thoughts. Rather, it just made Sorin feel sorry for her. "I know how that feels," he murmured quietly. He wished she didn't, it wasn't something he would ever want for anyone else.

[Dena n’am Damodred]

Julian was right. She and Sorin really did relate to each other. And he was right that she wanted a friend who understood how she felt on that kind of level. Maybe this meant Julian understood more than she gave him credit for. Maybe she should try being a little nicer to him. He was going through a lot too. Everyone was these days.

Suddenly, the most wonderful idea occurred to her and she had to contain herself from bouncing in her seat. Who knows what a horse would do with that?!

"Let's make a pact. Whenever we do riding lessons together, let's pretend to be our former selves before things got so complicated. Let's pretend, at least for a short time to be free again!"

Her eyes shown brightly with excitement as she peered at him expectantly, but Dena never had much patience for waiting.

"I can start if you'd like! Hello, good sir, I am Dena, and am out for a ride to avoid my parents nagging at me for avoiding my lessons. What brings you to the meadow path this fine day?"